Well this is it. Once I take this hog out, I'm done. No ifs, ands, or buts. Time to move on. I don't really know what to think right now as it is hard to think about withdrawal when you have half a tin in your lip. How about my top five dipping scenarios?
5. Watching TV. Nothing adds to your favorite program like a dip and a bottle in hand.
4. Dipping at work. This one worries me the most I think. How many times have I tried to cut back, only to get so pissed at work that I march to 7-11 and buy a tin of sweet anger reduction? I'll probably be chewing alot of gum now.
3. Doing homework. I actually found that this pairing, as great as it was, actually inhibited my attention span to what I was reading. Read three sentences...grab bottle...spit...put bottle down...find my place in the book...probably reread what I just read...repeat. Maybe I will be more efficient with homework now?
2. Golf. What a great pairing, no spitter needed. I think I felt guilty about spitting on the green one time but got over it. Running over to the rough gets old. The last time I forgot to bring a tin to the course, I asked a group of guys in front of us if I could "bum a rub". Astonishingly, one guy had a tin of mint Skoal. He watched in horror as I took out a pinch bigger than a golf ball and threw it in my mouth. He hated me, no doubt.
1. Video games. Amazing partnership. Nothing beats crushing Tiger Woods with a hog in. For hours and hours. This may actually be the hardest (I take back the work comment). Since my game with the ladies more resembles a jerkoff car salesman making his best pitch, my after bar activity usually includes beating the shit out of my buddies in Tiger and FIFA (sorry JBC but it is the truth). That said, I am usually hammered out of my gord with very little will power. God speed.
Next time your desire begins to overtake your will power think this one word and you'll be money, Domski.
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