thursday night

Ahhhhhhhh....I am at a bar and want a dip! Not going to happen but pray for mojo!

Successful Weekend

I had a couple of fears which I dominated this weekend:

1. Schoolwork. The master's program is back in full swing and I left myself to study and do homework all on Sunday in my usual procrastinating fashion. I spent about four hours on my arse doing so and did not even have the urge to dip. That is huge.

2. Getting hammered. I took getting hammered to a new level on Saturday as I was part of a bar crawl. Non-stop bodily destruction from noon to two in the morning. I started with a dozen Guinnesses and then moved on to all the Jameson in sight. It is a wonder that one of the three cab drivers I verbally assaulted did not run me over...either way, I once again didn't shamelessy buy a tin or even think about dipping.

Lots of progress, no doubt.

Withdrawal

I have a raging headache and withdrawal has officially started. Not even five cups of the strongest black coffee can handle this one. It was bound to happen; I am not that invincible.

Between the sunflower seeds, occasional cigarette, gallons of coffee per day, and excessive drinking, I figured I could offset it. Time to rejiggle my formula I suppose. Maybe it is the fact that I go to bed at three in the morning every single night.

I have recently started exercising alot more, so hopefully that will help negate alot of the above. Weirdly enough, my urge to chew has not been very great. I have narrowed it down to two scenarios when I most want to chew:

1) When I am angry. Not stressed, but angry...which is pretty often in the workplace.

2) When I am hammered. Not too hammered because I know I would get a case of the spins though and throw up.

Once golf season comes around, that will get bumped up to the top of the list because,

a) I get angry because I suck
b) I get hammered on the course
c) Being outdoors makes me want to chew
d) All my friends will be chewing (yes this is a weak reason, I know, shutup)

Time for the next chew-free weekend in T minus three hours!

Eleven Days.....

With no Seven Eleven tin stops.....

Honestly, things could be worse right now. I don't have much of an urge to pack a lip. Obviously, things might be tougher when I get hammered this weekend, but we'll see. I have strict orders to my buddies that they are not to peer pressure me or let me use chewing tobacco.

I was looking at dipping websites and they are some ridiculously stupid ones out there. The sad thing is that I know all of these tricks they speak of and became the master of them years ago. For example:

Move 'em around - No matter how much you hate it, learn to dip in more than just your main spot. Most dippers place their phatty about a half inch to the right or left of the center of their bottom teeth. After a year or so of dipping in the same spot you will notice that you get sores, and have a lower gum line than you used to. Learn to dip in your upper lip, and back by your mollers. I usually dip by my back teeth now because of he damage I have received from years of dipping in the same spot. Also, try to remember to alternate sides of your mouth when you dip or chew. This helps in the healing process.

Learn how to eat and drink while dipping - Learning to drink while dipping is quite simple actually. Just tighten your lip over your dip and let the beer, pop, water, etc. go over your lip and you'll have it down. Eating is another story. All I can really say about this is that it's like juggling. You have to make sure that the two items (Dip and Food) are in their own respective areas of your mouth. You have to teach your dip to share with the second most important thing to you, your food.

Pretty dumb, but that's reality for a dipper I suppose.

Replacement Habits

I realized over the last couple days that I most likely have an addictive behavior and will replace my chewing habit with something else that will have a vice-like grip on me. I think I will catch myself now before I become an alcoholic (as I type with a Guinness in front of me). But whatever, I had a shitty day and need to unwind. Well shitty from my perspective I suppose. Maybe another word like annoying or inconvenient would do more justice for those who are truly having shitty days.

Top three moments I wanted to inject Skoal into my bloodstream today:

3. Annoying dude at work driving me crazy while my computer froze over and over and over. Office Space, kill me.

2. Couldn't watch the inauguration. I even brought a radio to work that had one volume - incredibly and annoyingly loud. Seeing that I couldn't use that, I turned to the trusty world wide web, which had more congestive traffic than, well, DC itself today. Speaking to this point, I am actually very excited for this inauguration. I know there are some Obama-haters or some that think he is the messiah, but I really like this guy. He is inspiring and we need a whole lot of that right now to rally around. Let's just hope he doesn't turn out to be in over his head. We don't need another buttplug to lead the free world.

1. School started. Studying - Dip = Worse than attention deficit disorder. Don't think that formula is going to get me an A in Quant class.

qed (math joke)

Life Sentence

Question. If I kill someone at work and thus face a life sentence in jail, is it OK to throw a dip in? It is like this person is testing me on purpose to see if my brain will explode. No joke. I see red right now. Lots of burning red. And we are not talking Red Man.

I will refrain, but this is the worst moment thus far in my quitting crusade.

I need a punching bag or a bench press. Although I don't know how much anger I could possibly let out by bench pressing a whopping 150 lbs (or less).

High stress no Skoal

Well amid the emotions and stress of hanging out in a hospital for days, still no dip for this guy. I haven't even really had the urge to, which I find very strange. I guess that once you change your routine up, you no longer feel the need to engage in the unhealthy activities associated with that routine. That's the best explanation I have at this point. Six days in and off to the best start yet. Good times.

No Long Distance Dipping

Well, I had a dip.

A dip of beef jerky!

Don't worry, no meltdowns. Pretty impressive given that I drove 421 miles (with intermittent traffic). I honestly really only thought about tossing one in once or twice, but never got to the point where I pulled over and sat in a 7-11 parking space mulling over my will power. I actually probably think that speed bagging myself in the face would have been much more satisfying given the traffic on the GW Bridge and Jersey Turnpike.

Even more impressive since this has been the week of bad news.

My brother brought up a good point - "Since you quit dipping the world is falling apart." Shortly before he wrote that I found out that the ex girlfriend was officially back on the market (sans this guy) and that a family member was very ill.

Bush league way to start the week.

But in all seriousness, keep point #2 in your thoughts. Point #1 can give me an OPHJ a million times over.

Day One

Nothing yet. Not sure why I expected some sort of adverse reaction. I think I built it up so much that I am anxious to see what sort of junkie reflex I displayed. Maybe we'll give it a few days.

This has been somewhat of a shitty day though. I guess you could classify every Monday as that way though.

So far, my substitute addiction is coffee. Four cups today already. Does this mean that I will have to go through this quitting process with coffee one day? I hope not. I might as well stop drinking coffee now if that is the case to avoid starting a new blog later in life. Wonder what I would call that?

The Last Stop

Well this is it. Once I take this hog out, I'm done. No ifs, ands, or buts. Time to move on. I don't really know what to think right now as it is hard to think about withdrawal when you have half a tin in your lip. How about my top five dipping scenarios?

5. Watching TV. Nothing adds to your favorite program like a dip and a bottle in hand.

4. Dipping at work. This one worries me the most I think. How many times have I tried to cut back, only to get so pissed at work that I march to 7-11 and buy a tin of sweet anger reduction? I'll probably be chewing alot of gum now.

3. Doing homework. I actually found that this pairing, as great as it was, actually inhibited my attention span to what I was reading. Read three sentences...grab bottle...spit...put bottle down...find my place in the book...probably reread what I just read...repeat. Maybe I will be more efficient with homework now?

2. Golf. What a great pairing, no spitter needed. I think I felt guilty about spitting on the green one time but got over it. Running over to the rough gets old. The last time I forgot to bring a tin to the course, I asked a group of guys in front of us if I could "bum a rub". Astonishingly, one guy had a tin of mint Skoal. He watched in horror as I took out a pinch bigger than a golf ball and threw it in my mouth. He hated me, no doubt.

1. Video games. Amazing partnership. Nothing beats crushing Tiger Woods with a hog in. For hours and hours. This may actually be the hardest (I take back the work comment). Since my game with the ladies more resembles a jerkoff car salesman making his best pitch, my after bar activity usually includes beating the shit out of my buddies in Tiger and FIFA (sorry JBC but it is the truth). That said, I am usually hammered out of my gord with very little will power. God speed.

Oral Terrorism Part Deux

I've definitely been getting my fill this week already, gearing up for the defining moment. Two tins in a matter of three days is not too shabby. That doesn't include the tin of pouches I have hidden under my phone.

Classes start up again in two weeks, so that should be devastatingly awful, trying to study while dealing with a missing oral fixation. But, alas, I have used that excuse before and refuse to do it again, no matter the stress level or distraction.

I have tried the tobacco-free chew before, but that stuff isn't even worth it. Not even the same texture. I think I rolled coffee grinds into a piece of coffee filter last time I tried to quit and chewed that. It actually wasn't terrible....if you don't mind brown teeth. Thirty minutes later of brushing deterred me from using that approach again....

Last Week of Oral Terrorism

I can't promise that it will be forever, but I will be having my last dip as a tobacco addict on Sunday, January 11, 2009. Not sure what I will be doing at that moment in time, but it better be awesome.

Ten years ago, I started the worst habit known to human existence. Skoal has been the ultimate friend, with me through thick and thin, but it is time to break up with this adopted brother of mine and move on.

For those of you that dip, you know it is not disgusting. There is nothing better than throwing in a hog, whether its in front of the t.v., on the golf course, on a long car ride. Shit....the scenarios are endless.

Once I throw in that last beast of a feast, I will be documenting my long hard road of quitting. Sitting at work all pissed off needing a dip, in the car pulling my hair out, on the couch watching my friends fill up Poland Springs bottles and have the times of their lives. Let the week of binging begin.