March Madness

If there was one sporting extravaganza that promoted blowing through multiple tins of chew, then it would be March Madness. There are so many games and it is extremely stressful if your favorite team is constantly on the bubble year after year. That would be the Maryland Terrapins, undoubtedly the most frustrating team to be a fan of since 2002. Ever since that year when they won it all, they have languished just above mediocrity, making the tourney only once in the last four years.

They are playing Wake Forest right now, a game that they can't lose if they want to be a part of March Madness. If I hadn't quit chewing, then I would have gone through a tin in just the first half.

Speaking of sports, golf season will be here once a few more degrees are added to the thermometer. That will truly be a big challenge to continue to stay tobacco free, but I think I'll be ok. Well actually, maybe it will be harder than I am thinking, seeing that I am incredibly average on the course, which typically leads to more than a few angry moments. Hopefully I don't start smoking crack on the course to cope. I'll bring you through a typical hole so you can see what I'll be dealing with:

Tee shot. Pull three wood out of bag know that if I hit driver, I will slice it into the woods. Proceed to slice three wood into the woods.

Walk to woods cursing. Miraculously find ball and decide to punch out into fairway. Punch over fairway into rough.

Third shot, about 210 yards from the green. Four iron. Catch it thin and slice it into woods. Walk to woods cursing.

Able to pitch onto the green, but can't get within thirty feet of the hole.

Three putt. Triple bogey. I will then think to myself, "F my life dude. Maybe I should throw a dip in. All my buddies are doing it. Maybe it will curb my anger. No wait, can't do that. You quit remember? Your blog would be obsolete if you put a dip in. Shit, you're right dude."

Repeat above process for eighteen holes. Whoa, maybe this will suck!