First Rats, Now Pigs

Swine flu is upon us. Two immediate thoughts come to mind.

1. Mexico sucks. They are a bad neighbor.
2. Welcome to the Middle Ages, part deux.

Let me explain. Well part one does not need explaining. If I were the typical numbnut American, I would blurt out something like, "God darn Mexican'ts. First they steal our jobs, then they infect our damn bacon." But I'm not. Moving on to point two.

If rats were the stars of the bubonic plague, then pigs won best supporting actresses. It is a little known fact that pigs also transmitted the disease, which infected those people who ate them. I'm not kidding. Also, did you know that swine flu also broke out into a worldwide epidemic in 1918? Did you know it killed 50-100 million people? That is insane!!! Why did I never learn this in grade school? I'd say that is pretty major. Actually, I think it was more of an Avian flu that killed swine and humans, but still! Shit I think back in year 200 something there was also another swine disease. Of course, back then a cold would kill you.

World Health Organization is about to categorize it as a pandemic. When will escaping to space be an option? If I was dying of swine flu, would I dip. You bet your ass I would.

By the way, Miss Piggy is annoying and fat.

Whiskey

I have come to the conclusion that my whiskey drinking is potentially worse than my previous Skoal habit, given the fact that I cannot remember the last year's worth of weekends.

While I won't quit, I think I will switch to Vodka or something for the time being. I was thinking Grey Goose and soda water? Sounds good enough; probably less unhealthy too. So for now, I bid farewell to the regularity of Jameson, seeing that the drink itself is now formally a trait that others think of when they think of me.

Maybe time for a top five best and worst drinks I've ever had?

Top 5 Best Drinks
1. Jameson - goodbye
2. Guinness - tasty at all times. Does weird things to you the morning after though
3. Red Stripe - certainly doesn't help my dancing skills, but good nonetheless
4. Car bomb - seeing that my first two items on the list are ingredients, this must be up there as well
5. PBR - don't hate, appreciate

Top 5 Worst Drinks
1. Prairie Fire - Many variations, but the one that hurt me most consisted of grain alcohol, tabasco, and pepper. Also awful with 151....
2. Natural Ice - Brutal taste, no satisfaction in drinking this beer
3. Cement Mixer - two words: Curdled Milk
4. Moonshine - no idea how I ever stomached West Virginia moonshine regularly in college
5. Cuervo - used to love it, but my taste buds now reject it